| (no subject) |
[Mar. 3rd, 2008|10:17 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | chillin | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dynamite-Jamiroquai | ] |
doood...so its been forever since i updated. life has been jammin, hella busy as usual. well, haha seems like it. its pretty much been the normal gig, rehearsals, shows, teaching...lil school on the side. LoL but naah, im busy as ever with drummin right now, and im havin SO much fun. its sick like, for pulse we rehearse at the xymox factory in ontario (and for those who dont know, they made drum pads. the shit btw) but yeah, haha we rehearse there now, but too bad its not what u would think a drum pad factory to be. its the kick it spot fasho. bar, phat ass IMAX status projector, pool, music, but more importantly DRUMS, DRUM PADS, AND STIX EVERYWHERE!!! haha on sum real shit...i feel like its a drummers paradise. and we walk in last nite and they're playin soft porn?? haha does it get any better. jk btw, but yeah, totoally kicked it there til like 11.30, drummin for days. we fuckin went at it all weekend. had a regional saturday which was pretty bomb. a lot of fun.
after last nite, and jammin on the set for days, im more-than-ever lookin forward to my future chilli on the throne. i cant wait for the day i can just kick it, and figure stuff out. its gonna be soo much fun, and a future as a studio musician doesn't seem so farfetched. like real shit. im gonna get ridiculously better after this summer up north. so much drum knowledge from those kats. its gonna be unfair. hahahaha...its gonna be siiick
aside from the love of my life jammin, everything else is pretty chill right now...school is no joke on the backburner though. its morelike, i should and could be acin my classes but u know. haha too much ganja and drummin. so its like im not doin horrible, just not performing to my potential. so i guess its not all THAT bad. i fuckin love learning. its so doope. im excited to see what the future brings with my mind too. last quarter i took a brain and behavior class, and it really got me thinkin about goin into neurology but its like fuck, 2/3rds of the way through my 3rd year, havent done not a lick of premed...umm yeah, haha pretty sure imma stick with the cognitive psych, which is hella kewl too. like idk, u hear about people gettin their PhD and its like what the hell am i goin to research..write my dissertation on, blah blah, but im actually coming up with sum really kewl ideas that can be explored through cogsci. soo, im excited for that too. its such a trip to think that, haha we gotta figured out grad school and shit now. ahhhhh when did i become an adult??
idk if i ever did
stay up peoples. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 13th, 2007|06:47 pm] |
soo, today was our first show(Chaffey) and we handled. 2nd place for the band, 3rd place for the guard, but more importantly, we won drums. but yo, BY 12 POINTS!! i mean damn, i knew we were gonna handle but 12pts?? crazyness, good for the kids though, they were hella excited and made me feel a lot better about the time i'm puttin in. haha mad sacrifices bein made on my end, but its all for the kids. seriously though, we destroyed hella groups, like 10-12 other schools, and i'm talkin about divisions, so that was way kewl.
got pluse tomorrow 10-9, should be fun. but i mean, its still the audition phase of it all so it'll be whatevers. the beats are lowkey weird but we'll see how everybody else does wit it. things are goin well at disney. we started rehearsal last week which was WAY kewl...workin wit tom float. sick status. he's hella funny too, hilarious. but man, i can't believe i'm gettin paid, TO DRUM. how sick is that. 22 an hour, for doin what i love. haha i dig that
life is good right now. busy, but thats more normal to me than havin nuthin to do. i should really start focusin on school more but F it, haha drummmin is where its at. its not a secret, so whatever. seriously though, if i didn't have school on my mind, i'd be on top of the world right now |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 23rd, 2007|05:45 pm] |
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wow, i wonder who's a toy soldier at disneyland now? |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2007|12:23 am] |
| [ | music |
| | No Use-Jazzanova | ] |
damn...i've been drummin all day. haven't studied at all. and i need to just give thanx to God, for blessing me the hobby, gift, talent, and desire to play the drums. honestly, its been that friend i've always been able to depend on through out the years. no matter what time of day or nite, no matter what the forecast is, how bad i F'ed up the day before, nothin matters cause my stix and pad are always gonna be here. there's always gonna be sum drums i'm waiting to get behind. always sum lick to make up...always sum beats to be played and i love it to death. love it with all my heart. love it more than anything in this world, and i just gotta thank God for blessing me with a true passion in life.
haha but anyways, yeah, i haven't done much all weekend, which ain't all that bad. for sum reason since HS, i've always felt the need to do sumthin with my days. stayin inside sittin around is foreign. i've always had sum kind of practice, or rehearsal, sumthin to be at. nowadays though, there are a lot of just, free days. haha it fa'realz feels weird sumtimes. like shit, this is normal life. f that.
but yeah, i know as soon as i'm busy again, i'm gonna be complainin that i'm hella stressed and need a break. gotta love it though. i'm just excited the fall is here. teaching chaffey is so much fun. the kids actually wanna get better, and wanna learn, and WANNA be badass. its great, watching them improve makes me feel like i'm actually giving them what i didn't get, and letting them experience the greatness in this activity. its such a kewl thing to be apart of, i just wanna give them more opportunities than i had. give them the right info ealry on. i think about that like shit, if i didn't go to ontario, and went sumwhere like, rancho, or mission viejo, or thousand oaks, would i be where i'm at right now with drumming? i wish i could have got a quality music education in HS, but then again, idk if that would have made me want to be good as bad. self-motivation is the best in my opinion.
damn idevenk where this update is goin. just felt like typin i guess. haha another excuse NOT to start studyin. i'm so glad summer school will be history come tuesday. shit was kinda rough, not as in hard, but just rough cause its the summer and yeah, who the FUCK wants to be studyin. haha exactly, but yeah, i REALLY can't believe the summer has come and gone. time flies when u're not on a field everyday. but all that means is its that time of year again. time to get on the grind, drum everyday nonstop, as much as i can. cause as much fun as i've had, and no matter how good i get, my career in drumming wont be complete til i'm rockin out at finals nite, under the lights baby. and yeah, i've talked a big talk the last few years about how i was gonna make this and that drum line, but mark my fuckin words people, its time for J.Wicks to be stadium status. believe me, doubt me, but u will fuckin respect me next august. the dream becomes real this year. REAL REAL SON |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 29th, 2007|02:40 am] |
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pink lemonade is by far still my drink of choice. fuuuck man, i had to close tonite again at subway. haha i can't believe peeps have to go to work everyday, and i guess i'm talkin about all the peeps with shitty jobs, that have to go to work. that sux man, cause i'm over this ish. thank God i dont HAVE to do it everyday cause man, not for me. i really dont know why i'm still up. but its funny, days like today make me feel a lil better about workin at subway. so many people were complimenting my "sandwich artist skills" it was funny. one dude gave me a 5 dollar tip. that was funny too though cause his change was five sumthin, haha and i was gonna give him the five in ones so that he'd hopefully give me a dollar, but i was like fuck it, wats a tip. haha and he puts in the 5 dollar bill. that was coo. but it was even funnier that the guy after him didnt' leave a tip for hector...he made him four footlongs and three kids meals. haha he didn't leave him anything. foul people out there, but idk, what can u do. ahh subway, this is all it does. little anecdotes here and there...i guess i shouldn't expect to find more in a job like that but damn, haha i'm ready to stop. but sad thing is, its not even a good idea too. i'm kinda startin to rely on gettin that second check every week. i mean yeah, the bookstore is puttin out, but yeah two checks a week beats one anyday. well i feel like i'm just rambling on. i still wonder when i'll stop writin in this beezie. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 14th, 2007|01:17 pm] |
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so lately, i've really been feelin like i'm out of control. just fuck, way too much of shit i shouldn't be doin. like it was coo when i knew i was doin whatever, and that i should stop, but NOW, it feels like i can't stop. like i'm in it so deep idk how i got here, and idk how it'll be if i try n stop. haha for one i'll be left with a lot less friends. and its gay cause all the peeps i kick it with now, super tight. like man, i luv these peeps but, haha we're all the same, and yeah, as long as thats true, we're gonna keep doin wat we do...idk maybe i'm just feelin bad cause i have two test monday and i blew the whole week on just hangin out. but fa'realz, i think i need to check myself. cause now, shit is startin to happen that, idk if its because i'm always half baked or what, but yeah, more n more stupid shit is startin to happen. sumtimes i think it would be a good thing for my parents to surprise me and see wassup. at least then i'd have a legit reason to stop partyin so hard. haha and i can't believe i'm complainin about partyin too much...but its all the drugs and alky that go along with it. everybody does what they do, but i just feel like haha, i'm fa'REALZ pushin the limits. like fuck, wish u guys only knew |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 10th, 2007|02:23 am] |
damn, so its been awhile...my life feels all fucked up, but at the same time, i'm havin the time of my life. i've been happy, like truly happy, for maybe like a month and a half and it feels bomb. but man, i'm partyin sooo F'in much. like, fuck, haha idk where to draw the line, but its all good. i just really can't believe fernando passed...like wow. its weird though, i read dan's entry and how he said he just out of nowhere started talkin about him, same thing happened to me but a couple of days before. i was just thinkin about who i grew up with, and then middle school, and yeah man, fernando was one of the homies. one of the first dudes i ever drank with. haha look where thats gotten me but yeah man, thats one of the homies. one of the first dudes i ever talked to about pickin up girls, like havin an actual process. haha man, he was there when i learned sum of the most important things in life. how to drink and get laid; thank u fernando. haha but seriously...i'm sad u're gone man, can't believe i'm not gonna see u around anymore. no more of u c-walkin at parties, holdin it down on the dancefloor, always. but yeah man, i'm prayin for ur fam, bro n sis, n yeah man, i just hope i get to see u again sum day. u're a kewl guy, and u'll be missed by many.
R.I.P. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 29th, 2007|12:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chilllin | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Babyface-Nobody Knows It But Me | ] |
muthaFUCK bank of america...so anyways, haha worked way too long today. well, only 7 hours but i'm pretty tired. haha and the funny thing is i wasn't even suppose to work today. called chris to see if i could have his shift for tomorrow nite and he's like "well...i really dont wanna work tonite. is that kewl" haha i'm thinkin hell to the nah, but its whatever. over and done with, PLUS there was a check waiting for me. wasn't expecting that, idk how i forgot, but whatevers. i'm about to hop on the freeway and go to the parents. this is sum bull, they want me to sit down and go over my F'in bank statements with them. my whole beef with them gettin all into my bizz is like...why?? haha its just frustrating like damn, when are they gonna stop treating me like i'm 12, and let me do what i do. whatever though, i guess that's parents for ya
wow, so there's this girl that i can't stop thinkin about...hey guys, haha i need this one. corss ur fingers for me |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 27th, 2007|11:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | John Coltrane- Pt. 4: Psalm | ] |
fuck man...i'm about ready to lose it. haha seems like things are falling apart, but at the same time they're not. its just my parents are on my nuts about spending too much money, i overslept for work today. i got FOUR overdraft charges...thats the shocker, dont even know why, so i gotta go handl that at the bank. freakin idk what's goin on wit my summer yet, but times are rollin. each day is like an obstacle course, so many fuckin hurdles and walls to climb over just to make it through. haha its crazy. sumtimes i have to take a step back and look at what i'm doin, and it makes me feel a lil better, but at the same time it always makes me think like WHY am i tryin to do so much. is there really anything wrong with having nuthing to do 24/7. i just feel so stretched, like i really think i spread myself too thin and its finally catchin up with me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 13th, 2007|01:20 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Erykah Badu-Boogie Nights | ] |
so i was thinkin right now, i wish i could call "_______" and tell her how she's made these last few weeks pretty whack. but then i'm like nah, i'll just let it go unsaid, and i'm sure she knows what she's doin, but to what degree, i doubt it. so then it made me think, would if once u got married, u were handed a book. in the book, u got to see how u effected the lives of every person that u ever dated, liked, etc...
haha i just think it would be kewl cause i'm sure most peeps have no idea how the other person is takin it, and i'm sure if they did, it would change their role in the relationship. and i mean yeah, i guess it would be pointless to get sumthin like that when u're married, but i mean to get it period would be a trip. not only for the peeps u knew of that had feelings for u, but the ones u didn't. that would probably be the most interesting.
and i totally just wasted another 10 minutes of time...this quarter has by far been my worse. i've gone to about 30% of my classes, haven't done any real studying, well once. and yeah, reading has become a distant memory. i'm over it like whoa. i seriously dont know how imma handle finals.
enough with the randomness... |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 13th, 2007|01:08 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Will Downing-Smooth...haha, how ironic | ] |
maybe our parents wern't always tryin to ruin the fun. haha now, i think they were just tryin to keep us from gettin into shit we shouldn't, not because they're not kewl parents, but because they know we're not ready for what comes after...
idk, after u get into drinkin, drugs, sex, whatever it is, but now i wish i would have stayed away from all that ish. if i did, i know i wouldn't be worryin about half the shit i am now
money is tigh, still super single, finals are comin up, and my car is gettin driven into the dirt...shitty
i feel like all i've done for the past year is complain about life. and even though i feel like that, it makes me feel better to complain. even if its sumthin i can change, like still being single. but at the sametime, idk. i've tried with a shitload of girls, well, haha not a shitload, but enough to where i should have been able to find sumone worth bein in a relationship.
but yeah, idk, i'm just not happy again. i hate goin in and out of these moments of life. sumtimes i really just feel like crying and stayin in bed all day. and like i said before, most of my issues are things i'm in control of, or maybe thats the problem, i think i'm in control. idk, all i know is, i'm so over feelin like this inside |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 27th, 2007|01:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Michel Jackson-Butterflies | ] |
some how i find myself in the same place i am every so often. feelin sorry for myself and not knowing why. feeling busy, yet hella lazy at the same time. pretty much just feeling like i dont know what i want out of life. the tihngs that used to make me the happiest have all changed in my life. its weird. and what i still dont get is how i have no money these days. rough times man. haha i owe money left and right, sux. but as a good friend told me last nite, life is debt. u're always gonna have to pay for sumthin. sumtimes u'll have it, sumtimes u wont. i'm not trippin i guess, things could be worse.
i had a dircetion this update was gonna go, but idk where that went. i think i should just go to bed. its been a long day of doin absolutely nuthin. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 29th, 2007|11:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Doobie Brothers-What A Fool Believes | ] |
yoooooooooooooooooo, so i feel the best i have in a long time. after this weekend, idk, i'm happy again. haha if drummin was a person i would apologize and take her out to dinner. i mean seriously, this weekend at Pulse was exactly what i needed. we were hypin, playin clean beats, and more importantly havin fun. maybe it was the fact that brandon has neumonia and was still holdin it down, or that fact that i'm actually makin it a point to perform every rep, idk what it is, or was i should say, but i'm glad it happened.
i'm hella happy i got my license back though. freakin like TWO months without it. it was rough, but idk, really glad i finally got a new one. haha i actually like my picture too.
what else...idk, still hatin it in the female department. haha not so much, but yeah, man i wish i was back in a healthy, love filled relationship. its such a beautiful thing. i watch my roomate with his girl and i'm happy for both of them. i miss bein happy with sumbody else, and yeah, bein with them 24/7. i'm chi chi chillin though, i know it'll all work out when its suppose to.
man, so ouir first show is this weekend. i'm really excited. ITS MY FIRST INDOOR SHOW!!!!! i've been waitin to perform since the first time i saw a show since sophomore year in HS, its finally goin down. its way different from marchin band or corps, the level of performance is way higher. its intense, but i'm lovin it like whoa.
so i'm off and rollin with subway. haha i still can't believe i went and got a job there. its all good though, they work around my bookstore schedule. its crazy though, i'm hella busy ALL the time now. during the week, and on the weekends. i guess its better than bein bored all the time, but this is wild man. haha it really does make me appreciate the free time i have though. and its funny cause i usually spend it drummin.
yeah idk where this update is goin, haha just writin what comes pretty much. sumtimes it just feels good to do that. not think, well think obviously, haha but not think, and just write. y'all know what i mean. u know, not inhibiting what comes to mind u know. straight from my brain to the world. yeah, haha sumthin like that
well now that i said that i'm thinkin of all sorts of things i DONT want the world to know. LoL funny how that works, but yeah, guess that means it's time to stop. hope the rest of the week goes well for everybody. get it |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 28th, 2007|02:22 am] |
so life seems to be good again. idk, maybe it was just a string of bad weekends but yeah, i was hatin like whoa, not so much anymore.i was just thinkin right now though, i wonder if peeps still talk like they did in HS, or i should say, if everybody knows everybody else's business. and yeah, i only bring it up cause i'm tryin to get this girl i met last year right. for one, i met her cause i was tryin to get at her homegurl, so i think that for one sux. but two, i had madddd drama wit one of her friend's friend. so i'm thinkin like, i wonder if she's gonna hold any of that against me. ahh its whatever though, haha my expectations are so low these days, i'm just happy i've gotten as far as i have with it all...
pretty random, but having to live with regrets is one of the worst things ever |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 24th, 2007|01:53 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Busta-Gonna Make Your Body Sweat | ] |
LoL so pretty much, i have no idea where my life is headed. i thought i did, but yeah, after today, and much thought, i have no idea what i want outta anything anymore. seriously, everything is like all jumbled together, i dont feel like i have any order. i dont know what it is either. maybe its just the transitional phase, last time i went through this was senior year. with basketball, but now i fear that it is drumming. and not drumming period, but drum corps. thats what is so crazy, i can't believe i've been feeling the way i have.
haha man, i guess i'm just stuck in a weird funk right now. tryin to figure out what is gonna make me feel good again. for the first time in what, like 6 years, drummin just isn't doin it... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2007|01:32 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | crappy | ] |
what a weekend. pretty damn tired...hella bummed though. like idk whats wrong with me, just dont feel like myself anymore. and now that i know its not just me trippin, idk how or what i need to do to change this. fa'realz, i just feel like i'm so lazy now, and dont care about anything, not even drumming sumtimes. like idk, it dawned on me today, i just dont practice like i used to. where along the lines did i think i was "too good" to practice the basics...i dont know, cant remember. but that is what has happened, and now its like i'm playin catch up. its so frustrated, i seriously feel like i'm starting over.
haha and i hate it when i think of that stupid thought of how it wouldn't be so bad to wake up in the hospital. its stuff like that that makes me think i'm weird. but, i know my real problem is i can't walk away. sumtimes i feel like i have put in my work, and its time to move on with life. but then i think like nah, i'll regret it. to be honest though, i dont even know anymore. its just so exhausting now its not even funny. pete said i need to do sum soul searchin and make sure this is what i wanna do with my summer. he said that staff can see i dont have that fire or desire to push and get better. the only reason that scares me is because i only thought that i was trippin, and just thinking what it would be like not marching, u know, every now and then, but i guess its sumthin i really have considered. sumhow its apparent to the staff and they called me out on it. i really dont even know. i mean maybe its the tress or maybe its just me, but sumthin strange is definitely goin on in my head, and i dont like it.
i hate this. see, when i have a tough decision to make, i make it. but sumtimes the decision i make its not what i want, if that makes any sense. but yeah, deep down, i want to take a break, i dont want to march. but i can't let go. i dont even know where these feelings came from, but they're here. so its like damn, i can either not march, and drummin will become just another one of my hobbies, or i can push through this slump. only tihng is i've been pushin for like two months. i'm tired, stressed, and just feelin like i can't go on. and that is what trips me out the most, do i really suck that much? like seriously, is my technique that bad? i fuckin can't TAKE this shit anymore, i'm so sick of bein called out on that shit, its not like i dont work on it, i do, but seems like nuthin i do is good enough. i dont know how much longer i can take it. i mean the only thing i know for sure is that imma finish pulse for damn sure. i'm in it to win it no doubt, but idk if i really wanna jump onto aNOTHER drumline right now. i'm seriously so confused right now...how did my life get all jacked. i can't figure it out. i know its not smokin, i've been smokin for a coo minute, so its not that. i mean could it really be the female situation? nah right, haha can't be. but yeah...i've been feelin down in the gutter for way too long. i keep goin in and out of it. soul searchin...if that is what this is it sux. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2007|03:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Young Leek-Jiggle It | ] |
yoo, so this weekend is gonna nuthin but drummin, i'm excited though. PC is gonna be wild man, idk when this shit got so political but yeah, haha this weekens is gonna be crazy. i'm not regretting not goin back up to devs. i'd be drivin up right now as a matter of fact. it sux, but idk, i'm okay with it now. ahhh another F'in year to wait, thats the only thing i'm mad about. i smuckin hyped it up so much this year too...haha i always feel dumb when i do that, but its not like i got cut, maybe thats why i'm not so bummed about it. ahh, whatever.
so i went to a yacht party last nite, it was crackin. haven't had that much fun in awhile. haha then there was this big a** fight when i got back to school. seriuosly like 15-20 peeps all yellin and whatnot at like 2 in the morning. haha it was crazy, sum dude got his a** kicked, felt bad, it was like 5 on 1. and then there were two other fights goin on next to that. haha pretty funny to watch though.
i dont even know what i started updating. haha not much to say really, just lookin forward to this busy busy weekend. really glad i decided to go back to PC rather than not marchin. no lie though, this is gonna be a different tenor line. the vibe is already so different i cant' wait to say where we end. good times for sure. yeeeeeeeeeah
aiite cha'll, i'm about to go ball. haha haven't done that in awhile. be easy beezies |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2007|02:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  okay | ] |
damn so a girl shows a lil bit of interest and i feel a whole lot better. haha crazy how that works. females, i mean thats been a big part of why i've been feelin like shit lately, and now its the one reason i'm feelin aiite. i always laugh when i want to use cliches cause everybody hates on em cause they're cliches but they're always haha just what u need to say. idk, i wont even bother sayin the one thats in my head but yeah...i'm just glad imma go to sleep tonite not feelin how i did last nite. good stuff |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 15th, 2007|03:01 am] |
so many thoughts i dont even know what to write...i'm so frustrated with E-VE-RY-thing right now its not even funny. but then i get frustrated when i think about myself. my life isn't bad right. i mean, i guess i always think, it could be a hell of a lot worse, but then i'm like F that, this is me, and if i'm not happy i'm not happy.
i could cry right now...
its been awhile, and i can't believe i'm feeling like this. but i feel so helpless, like there's nuthin i can do about anything. which isn't true, but shit, at 3 in the morning it kinda is. i can't sleep with all this shit on my mind though. i dont know what i want to do. i just wanna feel good, stop trippin about stupid shit. but its hard not to. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 13th, 2007|01:24 pm] |
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tracy is completely right, i would like to think that no female would ever have the power to break me down, but haha then i'd be lyin to myself. its crazy how it all works i guess, cause usually i'll get over it right, but then she'll hit me up. its like we switch back and forth, but i can never see the good in it i guess. i always feel like she's just tryin to play me. i always think i'm dumb whnen i think of how many girls there are here at school. like seriously, i shouldn't be trippin at all. u can take a walk around campus, and find at the least 4-5 girls u'd be interested in talkin to. so whats my problem. i can't even figure it out anymore, but imma really try to stop thinkin about my so-called "lovelife" its hurtin more than its helpin right now. i gotta get back on da grind as far as drummin's concerned. i wish i was still practicin everyday. it was coo while it lasted, at least 2 hours a day, yeah it was helpin a lot. well i'm startin to ramble so that means my time is up. i'm actually goin home, i haven't been there in sooo long. nah, since like the day before new years. feels like a long time though. aiite guys, hope everybody is enjoying their weekend. gotta make moves |
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bdn2005's journal